I’m not over it.
I haven’t been too busy to blog. In fact, there must be a half dozen drafts that I just couldn’t publish. I don’t feel safe here anymore. I’ve had my words here twisted and shoved down my throat and I’m tired of exposing my soul to people if it means I’m going to [...]
Busy Bee.
I’m a little out of my element right now. I spent years with a very flexible schedule, and now I have a regular hour type office job. I am really enjoying the job though, in part due to working with Marla, who is training me to take over part of her responsibilities while [...]
On Faith.
I wasn’t always the anxiety-ridden control freak that I am today. When I was young, I was very laid back. It was something that most likely drew Brian to me throughout the years of our pre-romantic friendship. The irony that the way our relationship fell to pieces is what catalyzed my journey into anxiety and [...]
The Ugly Truth
I’ve become a master at the mask.
It’s not a mask to hide treachery,
or a mask to hide true intentions.
But it does hide the truth.
It does hide the sneer when I change my clothes.
The fat, everywhere, spilling all around me.
Choking me, hiding me, keeping me from being.
It swallows me whole and buries me alive.
It does hide [...]
The Ugly Truth
I’ve become a master at the mask.
It’s not a mask to hide treachery,
or a mask to hide true intentions.
But it does hide the truth.
It does hide the sneer when I change my clothes.
The fat, everywhere, spilling all around me.
Choking me, hiding me, keeping me from being.
It swallows me whole and buries me alive.
It does hide [...]
What now?
So, I fucked up royally at work and lost my job. I don’t want to talk about what or why or how, and some of those questions I couldn’t answer anyway because I just don’t know…let it lie with I screwed up, and the natural consequences of that suck, but are necessary, and deserved.
I’m actually [...]
Sweet 16
When I found out I was pregnant with him, I was just 16, myself.
Just a child. A child who thought she could handle anything the big bad world threw at her. Oh, what I’d give for that fierce courage now. Life itself has become my Jabberwock, and some days I bring its head home and [...]
But sometimes it *is* all rainbows and butterflies.
So, I got my pap results today, and I feel like the most blessed woman in the world. The results were completely normal. No abnormal cells, no HPV, which often causes cervical abnormalities, and no further treatment necessary. I can let go of that fear and focus on the wonderful chaos of being a working [...]
Next.
Another day, another drama.
Last year I found out about a sliding scale women’s clinic in Dade City, and since I don’t have health insurance offered through my employer, and I can’t afford an individual plan and still provide for my family, I was thrilled to discover an affordable way to take responsibility for my health. [...]
