I’m not over it.
I haven’t been too busy to blog. In fact, there must be a half dozen drafts that I just couldn’t publish. I don’t feel safe here anymore. I’ve had my words here twisted and shoved down my throat and I’m tired of exposing my soul to people if it means I’m going to [...]
Busy Bee.
I’m a little out of my element right now. I spent years with a very flexible schedule, and now I have a regular hour type office job. I am really enjoying the job though, in part due to working with Marla, who is training me to take over part of her responsibilities while [...]
On Faith.
I wasn’t always the anxiety-ridden control freak that I am today. When I was young, I was very laid back. It was something that most likely drew Brian to me throughout the years of our pre-romantic friendship. The irony that the way our relationship fell to pieces is what catalyzed my journey into anxiety and [...]
The Ugly Truth
I’ve become a master at the mask.
It’s not a mask to hide treachery,
or a mask to hide true intentions.
But it does hide the truth.
It does hide the sneer when I change my clothes.
The fat, everywhere, spilling all around me.
Choking me, hiding me, keeping me from being.
It swallows me whole and buries me alive.
It does hide [...]
Mean girl.
I really hate going public with this..it’s very much not my style. But she said to save my childish bullshit for blogging and Twitter, and I have to do this to have closure. It’s only childish when *I* want to respond to hateful things said about me..not when she does the same, it [...]
Who I am not.
Maybe I *am* immature. Maybe I *am* ridiculous. Maybe I *am* a control freak.
At times. When driven away from who I usually am by hurt.
But you know what I am not?
I’m not a liar.
I’m not a bad friend.
I’m not the woman who purposely manipulates people I claim to care for.
I’m not the one who blames [...]
A little levity.
So, Brian, my ex-husband, works for a Tree Service here in town. He drives the chipper truck and is a secondary climber, which is effing scary because we have little girls, and I’ve already had my oldest child lose his Daddy way too soon. But anyway….apparently, today he drove over and got stuck in a [...]
Rights. And wrongs.
I’ve been thinking.
I know…shocker!
I’ve been watching some people I care about go through some difficult times. And while the details are not mine to give, and really, not even mine to know, what the situation brought to me was some deep thought about expectations. I think I’m pretty clear about what I expect from my [...]
On personal strength…
So, my family just suffered a blow, as you probably know. I’m doing the best I can to hold it together. Brian is needing assurance that I don’t blame him or think he should have done more. The girls are needing comforting and help making peace with loss-a lesson they will make use of throughout [...]
