So, in my last post, I told you all about this crazy business I just launched, and today, I’m going to tell you how you can get something(s) FREE without hosting a party. Because we all love free, right, and even if you can’t use the freebie, you probably know someone who can and it will save you from buying them a gift later.

One of the friends I feel so blessed to have met through blogging is Cher. Cher is just awesome, and my favorite thing about her is that you NEVER have to wonder where you stand with her-she’s not that backstabby kind of friend that we all get suckered into caring about at some point in our lives. She’s the REAL DEAL. You need her, she’s there. She’s smart and funny and bluntly honest. <3

Cher talked to me about how complimentary so many of the products in the line I am selling work perfectly with the swimsuit line, SwimsuitsForAll, that she is repping over on THE BOOK. And she is SO right! Imagine, you are poolside soaking up the rays in a swimsuit you feel amazing in, and instead of spending a perfectly oiled up arm and leg for a drink from the cabana boy or just shlepping in the kitchen to grab one from the fridge, you just reach into the Thermal Tote at your side and pull out a chilled beverage or fruit. Imagine you are on the beach showing off that new suit, getting hungry, and instead of having to go spend your life savings feeding your crew from a vendor or eating warm sandwiches from your beach bag, you pull out your Market Tote and everyone is refreshed!

So, we are collaborating in a fun giveaway! SwimsuitsForAll runs a fun Friday Night Trivia contest every week on Facebook where they give away gift certificates and other items from collaborations like ours. This week you can win a super cute URU Thermal Tote in the limited pattern Pink Parisian Pop!  But while you are trying to win that adorable lunch tote, please check out SwimsuitsForAll, and see for yourself that they really do have something to flatter REAL size 8+ bodies…not just larger cuts for slim bodies. They realize that your body shape changes as your accumulate more of it, or else all us plus size girls would just be exaggerated hourglasses rather than the wide variety of shapes we actually are. If you have chub around the middle that you want to camouflage, check out THIS SUIT. If your bottom end has seen better days like mine, THIS SUIT is my fave! And? Did you notice that you can pick different sizes for the top and bottom? Angels are singing! With a FOURTEEN inch difference between my waist and my hips, that is so important to me! So, Friday night, please enjoy some trivia with SwimsuitsForAll on Facebook and try your hand at winning some goodies! I’ll be checking in from my niece’s graduation in Tennessee to see who wins!

PS This Thermal Tote is a little bit special because Thirty-One donates 31 cents from each URU item sold to programs that empower women and girls to reach their full potential. You can learn more about Thirty-One Gives HERE.

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I did something kind of crazy.

I purchased my first Thirty-One product two years or so ago at a party I attended. It was a Thermal Tote personalized with “Cheeky Sweetie” and it served me well through both my road warrior job and later, my office job. It saved me money and helped me lose weight. It still looks brand new today, so I knew the quality was really good. I also saw my mom adding to her collection of Thirty-One products and I never heard her say a bad word about any of it.

So, in February, I hosted a party. Only a handful of guests showed up, and my girl Laci ordered from afar, but I still wound up with $90 in free credit, 2 items at half-price, and 2 hostess exclusive items. My consultant, Katie, made over $125 at that party. I just lost $435 a month in income, and my eligibility for Pell Grants has ended, so making over a hundred bucks for talking about cute products for 30 minutes seemed pretty interesting, even considering the time in admin activities for the party and the mileage to and from my house.

When I got my order, I was ridiculously happy. It’s really so simple, and I could have recreated what worked for me with a mismatch of products from other places, but the coordination factor is already figured out for you with Thirty-One so you look so well put together with so little effort! I have tried purse organizers to facilitate my frequent purse changing habit, but nothing really felt like the best solution for me so I just kept looking. I ordered a tote, a wallet, a zipper pouch, and a soft glasses case in a cute yellow and neutral print and a coordinating scarf for a little kick. My idea was to use this set as a school bag, which worked so well that sometimes I just used it as an oversized purse, too. The tote was easily big enough for my 13″ MacBookPro, a couple of textbooks, a 5 subject notebook, and the zipper pouch. My wallet went into the outside pocket and my phone and sunglass case went in the other. My zipper pouch was key-I use it to corral all of my loose items like earbuds and lip gloss and hair clips. Some bags are great, except for the way they FEEL to carry. I do not like rounded straps because the outer one won’t stay on my shoulder, and the drop has to work with the length of my torso and the exaggerated hips I’m sportin’. This one worked SO well, but the best part was that it looked adorable.

Yes, I am totally admitting that fashion is a factor in functionality. For me and for many of you, I imagine, or Vera Bradley and Coach wouldn’t be in business because we would all just carry our things around in plastic grocery bags.

After considering it at length and encouragement from my friends and family, I decided to try Thirty-One for myself.

Everyone I know that is familiar with Thirty-One loves their products and they have great monthly customer specials. The hostesses are spoiled, as I experience for myself. Consultants earn 25% commission to start, and the promotion process is very reasonable, especially in an undersaturated local market.

The kit to begin was $99, and I figured at worst, I’d do badly and get to keep a kit worth three times that. But hey, whaddaya know, I earned my kit investment back and and then some in my first month. I’ve had time to check out the incentives and career path that Thirty-One offers and I’m excited. I have set some goals and I’ve already achieved one of them. I earned the first Start Swell level that will give me about $90 in products and business supplies for free. If I have three more parties in the next 30 days,(two of which are already underway thanks to the internet reach of a catalog party in 2012 lol), I will earn level two, another $80 in products and supplies. There are two more levels I can work toward in the next 30 days, too. Incentives are offered throughout the year, and there are two BIGGIES I will be working toward next year: a conference pass/$750-1500 in gift cards and an all expenses trip to Cancun.

I think I can do this, for two reasons.

First, the products are functional and they make functional look great. They provide solutions for this busy, whirlwind lifestyle that most of us in 2012 live. Whether you are single or have a houseful of kids, you are probably trying to simplify your life by getting organized. When you have a system, you can save time and spend more time doing what you love. Thirty-One provides ways to tame the clutter in your life, and with variety of prints and personalization, it’s FUN to do so. Products like that are EASY to sell, because they sell themselves. I believe in them, and I believe they can save you time and frustration, so I can be confident in presenting them as an option.

Which brings me to the second reason; I think this can change my life if I let it, and not just financially. Yes, earning just $500 a month will ensure I can finish school. But more importantly, if I can overcome my social anxiety by working Thirty-One parties, can you imagine the impact that would have on my future or on my relationships? Interviews wouldn’t be paralyzing. Outings wouldn’t be shadowed by my inevitable meltdown. Family functions would be something to look forward to. I could act silly without that gripping fear of judgement. I could dance without feeling like I was naked in front of my classroom. I could be more involved with organizations at my college. I could take on more leadership roles…I know I have the brains and the heart for leadership. But this crippling anxiety keeps me from breaking rank to step ahead. I’ve had enough, and I want control back.

I think Thirty-One is going to help me get it.

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The Good:

• One of my broken friendships is on the mend.
• My cash flow situation is much improved.
• I accidentally got pants a size smaller than I actually wear now and they fit. They will look better with another 5-10 lbs lost, but they fit without muffintop or cameltoe.
• I’m starting a healthy living collaboration blog with some awesome people.� (If you are interested in contributing, let me know. Whether you are in weight loss, maintenance, or just care about your body, I would love your input.)
• The 50 inch plasma tv that I got, brand new, for $420 is being delivered tomorrow.� Unlike my current tv, it has a pc input, so I can work on bringing that media center pc idea into fruition.
• I booked a Mother’s Day weekend getaway for my mom and I.� She’s always wanted to see Cher, so Vegas it is.

The Bad:

• I have what I have dubbed #snotcopalypse. Very, very unpleasant.
• Valentine’s Day. ‘Nuff said.
• Still haven’t heard from the school board about the staffing for Christian. It’s been two weeks, people.
• My pretty new comforter is falling apart at the seams.
• The heater in my car started making a weird noise this morning.
• My daughters’ bedroom is *still* carpeted in feathers. *sigh* So much for the carpet getting pulled up this week like we planned.

The Ugly:

• The other friendship? Gah. Just trying to let it go and move on, and whenever I think I accomplish that, somehow it seems to just pop up again like a zombie.
• My dear friend is experiencing a fuckload of a lot more drama than he deserves or needs to be dealing with.
• Betches.
• My mom was denied COBRA. I have no idea how that is even possible, but now my 62yo mom, with diabetes and hypertension, has no health coverage.
• My roomie had to be taken to the hospital last Saturday night.� We were leaving Monster Jam.� The cold and the long walk got to him and he had a pretty bad asthma attack.� Was scary.
• I’ve had heartburn pretty much daily for over a month. I’m taking Pepcid daily, and it keeps the symptom manageable, but the potential implications freak me out, since I have no health coverage, either.

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While I was packing for Chicago, I briefly considered bringing my sticky bra, also known as the Un-Bra.� I got my sticky bra a few years ago and it has come in handy any time I wear something strapless or with wonky straps.� I have a regular strapless bra, but if you get physics at all you will recognize that the grip around has to make up for the lack of suspension from straps, so the comfort level is about a negative ten on a scale from one to twenty.� The sticky bra, on the other hand, is completely backless, and it makes my boobs look bigger as opposed to smashing them flat, so it’s pretty obvious which I prefer.

However, I decided against bringing my sticky bra when I remembered what happened the last time I wore it.

I was truly divorced at the time, and I and a few other um, extra curvy friends were going to the BBW clubs held in Tampa on the weekends.� It was a great time-I love to dance but shaking my stuff in a regular night club doesn’t always make me feel comfortable.� Next to the college co-eds whose waists are approximately the same diameter as one of my thighs, I feel like a big, giant, awkward, not-so-hot mess, and it interfered with my fun.� By the time I had enough liquid courage to even approach the dance floor, I was so drunk I was taking off my boots and making an ass of myself.� But at these events geared toward large ladies and the people who prefer the company of such ladies, my friends and I were the belles of the ball.

So, there I was, in a strappy top and capris, dancing with a male friend of ours.� I had been dancing for hours, and I was sweaty and hot but I was having so much fun I didn’t care, and my dance partner was just a pal, so he wasn’t bothered by the slick sheen on my skin, either.� All of the sudden I felt something go very wrong under my cute strappy top.� I got so sweaty that my, um, glow?, interfered with the adhesive in my sticky bra, and without warning, I felt it detach from my bouncing breasts and begin to slide down my belly.� My eyes bulging in horror, my rump shaking quickly shifted to grasping in horror at the silicone chicken cutlet looking contraption before it fell to the ground at my feet and turned me into the outcast of the outcasts.

I did manage to grab it before it hit the floor, and then I had to cradle my boob baby under my top as I wandered to the car we rode to the club in, because my purse was barely big enough for my ID and a lipstick.� No way a sticky bra about the size of two pounds of chicken was going to fit in it.� I desperately texted our designated driver, begging her to come out and open the truck so I could stow the proof of my fashion faux pas in there.� After about ten minutes, which felt like a lot more minutes, she came out and opened the trunk while laughing convulsively at my crappy luck.

And then I went back in and danced some more.

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Well, here it is.  A year after I whined about not being able to go to BlogHer08, I am actually packed and all but ready to head for my little adventure, thanks to a full sponsorship from my favorite hair accessory, HairZing, which I will be rocking in my curly dark tresses all weekend!  I was nervous, but that was before the family implosion of last weekend.  Maybe I numbed out or something, because I am facing this with much less anxiety than I expected.  Or maybe that’s just the higher dose of Paxil, heh.

My husband asked me today, during a tense discussion, what exactly I am going to BlogHer to do.  It’s kind of hard to put into words, but I tried.  I told him that I am not comfortable in large groups.  I feel self-conscious a lot of the time in social settings.  I feel awkward and like my nerves impede my natural personality from coming through.  So I avoid many social situations.  He knows this, and complains about it often.

But in the blogging community, I can overcome all those obstacles.  Twitter parties…comment stalking…IMs…they have all allowed me to develop a network of people that I have come to know, and that have gotten to know me.  So while there is a little nervousness, for the most part, I know people, and they already like me, so I don’t feel that anxiety like when I feel like I have something to prove or I have to impress someone. 

This community is real.  We don’t put on airs, and I feel accepted, just as I am.  And BlogHer is an opportunity to connect face to face with those many women, and few men, that I feel have become my friends.  BlogHer is a venue to learn from the people who have experience at something that started as a little hobby, but has become something very important to me, too.

But he doesn’t get it.  And that’s okay.  I sure don’t get some the things he cares about, like pimping his car out or playing D&D.

So, I write my last post before this life-changing experience.

For those that will be meeting me for the first time in Chicago over the next few days, here is what I want you to know about me:

-My name is Angel Smith, but I have accounts on nearly every social networking or blogging platform under the nick “CheekySweetie.”

-I have four children, two teenage boys and two school aged girls.  I find myself hanging with a lot of mommybloggers, but I’m not sure the label applies to me perfectly.  I think I’m more of a lifeblogger who happens to write about motherhood sometimes as one facet of her life.

-I am in a relationship with my ex-husband, the father of my daughters.  Each of us has a son from previous relationships we have complete care of.  My family is pretty challenging; we seem to have one mini crisis after another.  I don’t know if that is common in families with two teens or not, but it makes me very weary sometimes.

-I work full time for a child abuse prevention program, coaching the parents of children at-risk for abuse or neglect to live a better way.  It’s beautiful and terrifying, at the same time.  I am also slowly working on getting my BA, though I haven’t declared a major yet because I change my mind every other day.

-I think I am fairly funny, but I know that I love to laugh.  I am silly and irreverent and still responsible in the ways that matter.  I enjoy offbeat and maybe a little offensive humor, and I am a wicked flirt, but only when I am confident that my banter won’t cause myself or the other person any issues.  I plan everything, and change my plans a lot.  I hope that I can let my light shine this weekend..no hiding under a bushel, heh!!

Here is what my face looks like, though the color is not right, lol:

 

I’ll be wearing this on Thursday for my travel on Southwest Airlines, arriving at Midway at 1pm, and for the SocialLuxe Lounge, the People’s Party, and the Room 704 Party. I got that top for under $14 from Sears, but it’s a size too big, so I got a white belt from eBay to cinch it. (it’s $19.99 on the Sears site.) Denim trousers and bag are from Old Navy.  Fuchsia beaded thongs (shoes, you pervs!) are from a Lane Bryant sale a while back-$2, yo!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday I’ll be wearing this on the conference floor.  The top is from Khols, and the bag is from Old Navy.  The pintucked denim trousers and the cream tank under the lace top, banded bottom top are also from Old Navy.  I’m not sure what brand the brown heels are, but I luf them!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday night I am actually wearing a dress while I run myself ragged trying to be everywhere at once.  Shock! <:-o  It’s an eBay find, and the wedge sandals are from Walmart.

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday on the conference floor and at BowlHer and the Third Annual CheeseburgHer Party, I’ll be in this, which looks pretty shapeless in this photo, but you’ll notice with the exception of the dress for Friday, I am trying to stick to fluttery sleeves to cover up the tumor-like accumulation of fat on my upper arms.  It is seriously disproportionate and they will be ‘nipped and tucked’ by the time I am 35. Dammit.  Top is from eBay, brown tank under it is from Old Navy, and these are jeans from the day before, because I ran out of room for clothes when I packed all the HairZing swag I have to give away, lol!

 

 

 

 

Not that anyone will see me, but for the flight home, I’ll be in this top from Khols and the same Old Navy trousers and green bag I flew into Chicago in.

 

 

 

 

 

If you see me, please say hi! I may break into sweats and start shaking uncontrollably, heh, but I won’t bite.

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I think that bloggers tend to represent a more aware segment of the population than most.  We are often right on top of technological advances.  We discuss current events both on our own platforms and those of others.  We break news to each other and spread the word on things we feel people need to know about.  And one of the biggest interesting things I have noted is how eager we are to help others.  I tend to circulate in ‘mommyblogger” social circles, but I am happy to have some lifeblogger pals, too.  Regardless of the segment we feel the need to place ourselves in, or the ones others feel they need to compartmentalize us as, I find that when someone, anyone-not just other bloggers, is in need, the community rallies to help.

My family is of limited means. Like most other people out there right now, the money we have doesn’t go as far as it did even a year ago, and as my kids grow, so do their expenses.  As an employee at a non-profit organization, I am not getting a raise this year, as our funding contracts just don’t allow for raises for any employee in our organization.  Honestly, with budget cuts falling all around us, we are lucky to still have our jobs at all.  The point is, it’s hard for us to find corners to cut so we can give.  We do give some time in lieu of money, but the one area we think we can make the most impact on others with as little impact on our own budget as possible is to be more selective about choosing what companies we support with our spending dollars.

That was one of the first things that attracted me to HairZing, my sponsor for BlogHer09.  I am a member of the forums at NaturallyCurly.com and I heard about the HairZing there for the first time.  Everybody seemed to adore these beautiful accessories that did not damage delicate and typically dry curls, so I did what I always do and started looking the company up online.  I was obviously impressed by the vast variety of styles, and also by how many hairstyles you can use them to create, but what took it beyond “Oh, how cool” to “I have to get some!” was the social philosophy of the company.

See, Hairzings are all individually handmade.  There are no mass production factories with laborers barely making enough to eat each day.  That’s not how they roll.  Instead, they reached out to women in depressed economies in China and Kenya who struggle to find jobs where they slave away, often far from their families for much of the year.  Education is rarely even an option for these women, and female entrepreneurs are few and far between.  They gave the women in China the opportunity to become artisans, crafting HairZings for fair wages, often at home where they can be with their families.  They provided the funding as well as marketing and management support for a female-owned and operated beading cooperative in Kenya where the women of the Maasai tribe, which has long been celebrated for its beading skill, can support their families as well as learn the skills necessary to launch whatever small business they can dream of in the future.

By creating a framework for these economically disadvantaged women to become independent and self-sufficient, HairZing has contributed to a global shift toward a more stable world economy, but more important, in my eyes, is the contribution toward women’s rights.  By empowering women in China, where women are still sold into marriages, female infants are many times abandoned or murdered, and 70% of the illiterate are women, strides are being made toward equality.  Giving women in Kenya, where female circumcision is still practiced, a girl as young as 10 can be married off for a dowry in the low hundreds, and there is an illiteracy rate of 80% among the Maasai women, the opportunity to learn how to establish and grow their own businesses is an unbelievable step in the right direction for the future of those women, as well as every woman they meet and the daughters they will raise up with the expectation that they can do more than they ever dreamed of before.

I plan on buying hair accessories anyway.  I have curls I finally love, and I like to dress them up.  I have two daughters, one with thick, heavy hair and one with fine waves.  I love to have fun embellishing their already adorable looks.  So, for me, finding a beautiful product with so many ways to be worn, and that supports the status of women not only here in the US by being founded by women who have been friends for years, but across the globe, was a no-brainer.  That’s why I love them so much, and why I approached them about representing them at BlogHer.  I know that my sister bloggers will love these products, but even more so, I know they will love supporting a company that with socially responsible practices.

Be sure to visit them at www.HairZing.com, right now there is a Buy One Get One Special going on, and if you enter the promo code “Angel” at checkout, you’ll get free shipping, as well.  Find me at Blogher to grab a sample, if you want to check them out first-I know you’ll be as in love with them as I am once you do!

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